AM I CRAZZY?!

It was thundering and pouring cats and dogs outside and there I was sitting next to the candle light eagerly looking outside my house hoping that he is fine. I just saw him leave his place, riding away in his "cool new bike!" Must be on his way to one more of his late night parties!! Why did he have to go now? Its dangerous to drive in such a weather, I thought to myself. "ARE YOU CRAZZY", somebody screamed. I turned to see who that was and realized that it was just some crazzy song being played on the radio. It somehow disturbed me a lot. Am I crazzy?, I thought. I was actually worrying about a guy who does not even care. Seriously what the hell was wrong with me? I thought I was over him long back, I thought I had moved on. But at that moment I found myself stuck in that very old dark den of thoughts, of sorrow, of betrayal, of hatred and still filled with concern and love and wait! He cheated on you and he was not even sorry about that, I told myself. I was not listening to myself though. My mind, body and soul were busy worrying for him in perfect coordination. Finally, then I heard the screach of a bike coming to a stop, being driiven by a fully drenched, funny but at the same time cute looking owner. A wave of peace rushed through me, my body relaxed and I smiled at him trying hard not to let him know that it was him my eyes were eager to see for the past half an hour . After thanking god for another ten minutes, I came back to the same old question 'Am I crazzy?'!!

JUST FRIENDS??!! :\

There I was, sitting next to my biggest crush, trying to concentrate on the movie I was pretending to watch. I was shivering, partly because of the AC and partly because of his presence. "Are you cold?", he asked. I nodded without looking at him. "Give me your hand", he said and extended his. I looked at his hand, then at him and then back at his hand, slowly slipping mine into it. He held it tight and rubbed it with both his hands. His hands were really warm, exactly what I wanted at the moment and would like to have for a lifetime. He then lifted my hand and pressed his lips on it. A wave passed through me, like I just had an electric shock. What is happening to me, I tought. He is just a friend, I should not have allowed him to hold my hand in the first place and now he is kissing it and I seem to like it?! This is not right, I thought. "I like your smell", he said and continued to kiss my hand. I am never going to change my moisturizer, screw that beautician, I thought. I then pulled my hand back, bewildered, when the hall was lighted suddenly. Then we realised that the movie was over. My friend was looking at both of us and smiling. "Shall we leave?", she asked. The three of us got up and started to walk out of the hall. I was suddenly lost in the crowd. Someone then caught me by my hand and pulled me closer, while a smile appeared on my face. I could say tat I was turning pink. "Hey! I'm sorry about that. I din't realise what I was doing.", he said. "So, we are just friends.", he continued. "Right??", he asked, waiting for my approval. "Yeah, obviously", I said, trying hard not to look into his eyes. "Just friends", I murmured and walked away as fast as possible.

BLESSED WITH A SISTER YOU CAN ONLY DREAM ABOUT!!

My sister was the person who taught me to crawl. She was the person who taught me to spell. She took me to her class room on the first day of school, because i accidently went to school on the wrong day. She came and apologised to my class teacher when i was caught copying in a class test. She was the person who always defended me, no matter what. Any problem I had, I just had to go home and tell that to her and she would magically think of the best solution for it. I had nothing to worry about. I had no problem that would last longer than a few hours. I could not think of a life without her, of going back to a house bereft of her, until that day, when she left to pursue her higher studies. It was then that i realized how dependent I was on her. I was totally bewildered when I learnt the fact that I was totally handicapped without her. There was no one to help me with my late submissions, no one to drop me and pick me up whenever I wanted, no one to say I'm there when I was feeling down, no one at all!! In the due course I realized that I had never given her the credit that she deserved. She never had to do all this for me. She was my sister not my mother but she had always been my second mother. In this short period of her absence, I discovered the importance of her presence.

HERO TO ZERO!!

"I love you", he said. He said that like a hundred times a day, and everytime he did my heart would skip a beat. Everytime I looked at him,  I would ask myself if anybody could be this perfect. Righ from his smell to his warmth, from his voice to his touch, i adored him. Sometimes his perfection worried me. Why would someone this perfect fall in love with "Miss Butter fingers"??, was the million dollar question. But by the time I could seek an answer for this question I got so addicted to him that the reply did not matter anymore. I trusted and loved him with my heart and soul. But later on, this turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life! A mistake that I repent having made, till date. But I'm not to be blamed. Anybody would be stupid enough to belive in anything an angel like him would say. After over six months of only him in my life, he told me that he wanted this to end. He said "over is over, dump it and move on". WOW! Now that sounds easy to say. But, for a girl like me, who can not accept changes at all it is very difficult to execute, it is like asking Sachin Tendulkar to never bat again.

 I cried, screamed, got anxious, but one thing i did not do was ask for a reason. I was scared to. What if he had told me that he was tired of me or that he found a better match for himself. I could have never digested that.

Today after so many months, when i accidentally happened to meet him, I was suprised how he seemed to be the same but still not the SAME! His smell was different, his warmth was missing, I dreaded his touch. It is very wierd that how easily the most important person in my life, the person I thought of as an angel, can suddenly become next to nothing to me.